Scott Pilgrim vs. Me

Thanks to a free trial weekend of Cinemax, I was able to DVR a bunch of movies I have not yet seen. One of which was the much-hyped Scott Pilgrim vs. the World.

Let me start by saying that I'm sick of Michael Cera. I liked him as George Michael Bluth on Arrested Development--and so must everyone else, because that is the only character he plays! From Superbad to Juno to Youth in Revolt, Cera plays the same stammering, weak-voiced kid with a chip on his shoulder and a desire to prove he's more than his character's cliche. But he always fails. Now, I actually liked Youth in Revolt, but that was only because of the alter ego his character created. The pathetic loser Scott Pilgrim is no different. From the very beginning, I hated the kid. He moped around for most of the movie, mumbling, whining and making me want to kill myself, and I'm supposed to identify with this idiot? His few shining moments actually came out of the blue, as in, he'd be getting his ass kicked and then come up with some cunning strategy for defeating his rival. And don't give me the argument that this is a movie about a kid who has video game-style battles, that I shouldn't take it so seriously, because all of that aside, this is a character-driven story, and the characters sucked.

Moving on to Romana. Mary Elizabeth Winstead was amazing as that character, but I, again, hated the character. Chicks like Ramona suck! They're selfish, egotistical, and fake. They pretend to be edgy and open and all about sexual power and freedom, but all they really want is for someone to look at them and want them, though they don't want to be tied down or labeled as a "girlfriend"--which is why girls like that are usually the ones who end the relationships, as shown in the movie. If there is one thing this movie got right, it is showing how ridiculous girls who act this way can be. I'm sorry, but I don't care how hot you are or much you pretend to be into me, if one of your ex-lovers shows up and demands I fight, then see ya! No girl is worth a vicious uppercut from a vegan-powered, anime-inspired, former Superman, Brandon Routh. And to make matters worse, this bitch runs off and hides when there is a fight (over her, by the way), only to randomly pop up later and say that "I do that sometimes." Piss off, you ditsy cow! I whooped up on three super-beings for you and you disappear, probably off flirting with some other unsuspecting loser to get a free cup of coffee. Gah! I hated Ramona and really think that Scott should have gotten back together with Kim, the cute, girl-next-door drummer.

Whew! Moving on . . .

This film actually did something a little different in that the actors they cast to be in their early 20s looked more like they were in their early teens. Usually, it's the other way around. I mean, is Sarah Michelle Gellar still playing a high school girl? While I thought that it was a good choice to actually cast actors into their age-appropriate roles, it looked off to me. Maybe I'm just too old. The little Asian girl who played Knives was actually the only one who I thought was just perfect. She was supposed to be younger than the others and really looked it.

My absolute favorite thing about this movie was Kieran Culkin! His portrayal of the openly gay, laid back, witty roommate and bed-buddy of Scott was genius. I could have watched a whole movie about him. Usually, I dislike gay characters in film and TV because I often feel as though they are thrown in there to be gay, and for no other reason. Lately there seems to be a rash of randomly gay characters popping up where sexual orientation plays no part in the story and is just there for a shock value. But Wallace Wells is the kind of homosexual that I'd like to party with. Why? Because he's cool with his sexuality and isn't forcing it on those around him. He isn't there to creep out a homophobe or make sassy, really faggy comments. He's just gay--and yes, it does play into the story, so I'm all for it.

Though I really didn't care for the story, I loved the way it was presented. Sadly, I think the irony of the 16-bit video games were lost on the characters and most of the audience. These kids were born into the N64/Sega Genisis/Playstation era and weren't around for the golden oldies of Contra, Super Mario Bros., or The Legend of Zelda. If this story were about a bunch of 30-year-olds looking to rekindle their past, it would have made a lot more sense--and I could have tolerated Scott Pilgrim chasing the worst kind of female creature there is.

Over all, I rate this a C-. It lost heavy points for having shitty characters and an over-used plot, but it gained points for its unique style and excellent use of star cameos.